THE TOP SEVEN LEAST SEXY SEX SCENES
WRITTEN BY POLITICIANS AND WASHINGTON INSIDERS
7. He held her breasts in his hands. Oddly, he thought,
the lower one might be larger . . .
At length he walked around to the deer’s head and,
reaching into his pants, struggled for a moment and then pulled out his penis. He began to
piss in the snow just in front of the deer’s nostrils....He asked if they should fuck
the deer.
-- from The Apprentice by I. Lewis (Scooter) Libby, former chief of staff to
Vice President Dick Cheney
6. [She] finally came to him in the bed and shouted
‘Arragghrrorwr!’’ in his ear, bit his neck, plunged her head between his
legs and devoured him.
-- from Full Disclosure by Nixon speechwriter William Safire
5. Her skirt was very short, and Josh found himself
mesmerized by her perfectly shaped, silken legs with kneecaps that reminded him of golden
apples — he couldn't remember having been captivated by knees before — and her
lustrous thighs. -- from A Time to Run by Senator Barbara Boxer (D-CA)
4. She romped on top of Simolzak's huge frame,
straddling him with her hands on his chest, her back arched and her breasts flailing
wildly in the air. Her back was to him and her long hair swung from side to side as if
accentuating the abandonment of her screams. -- from Lost Soldiers by
Senator James Webb (D-VA)
3. Tsa Li froze, her lips still enclosing Rand’s
glans.. -- from Out of Control by Nixon Watergate figure G. Gorden
Liddy
2. Suddenly the pouting sex kitten gave way to Diana
the Huntress. She rolled onto to him and somehow was sitting athwart his chest, her knees
pinning his shoulders. 'Tell me, or I will make you do terrible things,' she hissed. -- from
1945 by former Congressman Newt Gingrich (R-GA)
1. Okay, Shannon Michaels, off with those pants! -- from
Those Who Trespass by pundit Bill O'Reilly
On Compassion, Kinda Cheap
"The first time I mailed something on my own, like a
couple of months ago, I didn't put a stamp on it! My mom, she was like, 'Are you
serious? You didn't put a stamp on your mail?' I'm like, 'Dude, I've never been on my own
before, how am I supposed to know?'" 
