Stupidest Awards

And the 2011 winners of the Stupidest Things Ever Said Awards are . . .

  • The Stupidest and Extraordinarily Insightful Art Commentary of 2011
    “I liked the statue of David.  He was hot, and his wiener’s out, and he has a nice butt.”
    Jersey Shore star Snooki talking about Michelangelo’s David (video)



  • The Stupidest Headline of 2011, Possibly Inadvertent Sexual Imagery Division
    Girls’ school still offering “something special” — head
    —headline, Gloucestershire Echo


  • The Stupidest National Anthem Rendering of 2011
    “What so proudly we watched at the twilight’s last reaming…”
     singer Christina Aguilera at the Super Bowl (the right words were: “O’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming.”) (video)




  • The Stupidest Example of a Politician Showing off her Historical Knowledge in 2011
    “He who warned, uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.”
    Sarah Palin, on Paul Revere’s midnight ride (video)


  • The Stupidest Anti-Gay Marriage Metaphor of 2011
    “It’s like in golf.  A lot of people — I don’t want this to sound trivial — but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive. It’s weird. You see these great players with these really long putters, because they can’t sink three-footers anymore. And, I hate it. I am a traditionalist. I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist.”
    businessman Donald Trump explaining why he was against gay marriage


  • The Stupidest Least Literary Line of 2011 (or “Why We Stopped Reading The End of Sparta  Pretty Quickly”)
    “Odd that the Theban knew of Neto and his son’s wife Damo, and of Chion and apparently Sturax and Porpax too, but at least not Gorgos as well.”
     from the novel The End of Sparta, by Victor Davis Hanson



  • The Stupidest Overstretching the Point Moment  in 2011
    “I have always said, heard, that it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived there, imperialism arrived and finished off the planet.”
     Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez in a speech for World Water Day (video)




  • The Stupidest Excuse for Having an Extra-Marital Affair of 2011
    “There’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate . . .”
    presidential candidate Newt Gingrich explaining how his patriotism led him to have an affair (video)



  • The Stupidest Live On-Air Moment of Rhetorical Brilliance of 2011
    “Tonight is the measure of whether the country begins in the state of Wisconsin a national drive to push back or whether we have more to go to build a movement of resistance.  But resist we much.   We must and we will much . . .”
     MSNBC host Al Sharpton on the Wisconsin recall elections (video)


  • The Stupidest Live Debate Moment of Rhetorical Brilliance of 2011
    “The third agency of government I would do away with – education, uh the, commerce, and let’s see, I can’t. The third one I can’t. Sorry. Oops.”
     presidential candidate Rick Perry (video)


  • The Stupidest Fascinating New Use of a Verb of 2011, Sports Division
    “We don’t dwindle on the past.”
     Cardinals QB John Skelton

 

 

The Stupidest Things Ever Said awards are selected each yearby verbal gaffe experts Ross and Kathryn Petras, the compilers of the best-selling annual Page-A-Day calendar The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said (now in its 18th year with 4.3 million copies sold).

The 2010 Stupidest Awards

President Barack Obama, Snooki, Sen. Minority Leader John Boehner, BP ceo Tony Hayward, and costume jewelry designer Kenneth Jay Lane make the list of the Stupidest

And the 2010 winners are . . .

  • The Stupidest Most Unexpected Press Release Header of the Year Award
    How Justin Bieber and horse semen are helping charities 
    – headline on a press release sent to Entertainment Weekly
  • The Stupidest Athletic Explanation of the Year Award
    On the field they don’t speak because they’re not positive they know what they know what they think they know they know. 
    – Chicago Bears Offensive Line Coach Mike Tice
  • The Stupidest Compassionate CEO Award of the Year Award
    We’re sorry for the massive disruption it’s caused their lives. There’s no one who wants this over more than I do. I would like my life back. 
    —BP ceo Tony Hayward on the Gulf  of Mexico oil spill disaster
  • The Stupidest Pretentious, Pompous Popinjay of the Year Award
    I think it‛s impossible to live in a room which isn‛t at least 13 feet high.  Don‛t you? – jewelry designer Kenneth Jay Lane in an interview in which he showed off his apartment
  • The Stupidest Presidential Wisdom Award of the Year, Historic Perspective Division 
    The Middle East is obviously an issue that has plagued the region for centuries. 
    – President Barack Obama
     (video here)
  • The Stupidest New Word Creation of the Year Award 
    Ground Zero Mosque supporters: doesn’t it stab you in the heart, as it does ours throughout the heartland? Peaceful Muslims, pls refudiate.
    —politician Sarah Palin in a tweet about plans to build an Islamic community center near Ground Zero
  • The Stupidest Metaphor of the Year Award, Salami Division 
    Jihad is the knife slicing the salami of freedom 
    – Danish “anti-Islamization” activist Anders Gravers
  • The Stupidest, yet Most Necessary, Blog Correction of the Year Award 
    This blog post originally stated that one in three black men who have sex with me is HIV positive. In fact, the statistic applies to black men who have sex with men. – correction posted on a TBD blog
  • The Stupidest Congressional Wisdom Award of the Year,  Geographic Division
    My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize.
    —Rep. Hank Johnson (D-Ga.) expressing concern during a congressional hearing that the presence of a large number of American soldiers might upend the island of Guam (video here)
  • The Stupidest Department of Redundancy Department Award of the Year
  • The only way to get our economy going again and solve our budget problems is to get the economy moving. 
    – Sen. Minority Leader John Boehner on Meet the Press 
    (video here)
  • The Stupidest Volcano Knowledge Award of the Year 
    How can you get a volcano in Iceland?  When you think of volcanoes you think of Hawaii, or long words like that.  You don’t think of Iceland.  It’s too cold to have a volcano there. 
    – CNN anchor Rick Sanchez during a broadcast 
    (video here)
  • The Stupidest Excuse for Hiring a Male Prostitute of the Year Award I had surgery and I can’t lift luggage. That’s why I hired him.
    anti-gay crusader and co-founder of the Family Research Council Rev. George Rekers, after being caught in the Miami airport returning from a ten-day trip to Europe with a hired male prostitute
  • The Stupidest Gender Identification Problem of the Year Award 
    I am not a man of faith, but my wife is.
    –  British deputy prime minister Nick Clegg
  • The Stupidest Most Annoying Hollywood Intellectual of the Year Award 
    It took all my semiotic Lacanian deconstructivist saturation and torqued it. 
    – film director Kathryn Bigelow
  • The Stupidest  Historically Sensitive Celebrity of the Year Award
    I feel like a pilgrim from the f*cking ’20s washing this sh*t  in the sink  
    – Jersey Shore reality star Snooki
     (video here)
  • The Stupidest Inadvertently Suggestive Headline of the Year Award 
    Tired Gay succumbs to Dix in 200 meters
     headline, Reuters

The 2009 Stupidest Awards:

The 2009 Stupidest Awards winners are . . .

  • the Stupidest (and Most Evocative) Headline of the Year Award
    Minister Quits Over Brown “Smears”

    – headline on a vending machine placard for that day’s The Evening Standard after Environment Minister Jane Kennedy resigned, accusing British prime minister Gordon Brown of running a smear campaign
  • The Great Moments in Defining Things Award of the Year
    “A versatile guy is a guy who can be very versatile.”
    - Washington Redskins player Brian Orakpo
  • The Special Mother Teresa Memorial Award of the Year
    [I am just a banker] doing God’s work.”
    – chief executive of Goldman Sachs Lloyd C. Blankfein in a Times of London interview
  • The Great Moments in TV Broadcasting Award of the Year
    Fox 5 (New York)’s anchor Ernie Anastos: “It takes a tough man to make a tender forecast.”
    weather forecaster Nick Gregory:“I guess that’s me.”
    Anasotos:“Keep f—ing that chicken!”i
  • The Stupidest Helpful Hints Award of the Year
    “Just remember this acronym – DOSSiShQACNMN – to make it easy for you to remember the order of adjectives in a series.”
    – from an English language learning book used in the Phillippines
  • The Perhaps I Should Rephrase That Award of the Year
    “The reforms we seek would bring greater competition, choice, savings and inefficiencies to our health care system.”
    – President Barack Obama in remarks after a health care roundtable with physicians, nurses and health care providers in Washington, D.C
  • The Perhaps I Should Hire a New Speechwriter Award of the Year
    It is as throughout all Alaska that big wild good life teeming along the road that is north to the future.”
     former Alaska governor Sarah Palin waxing poetic about the Alaskan wilderness during her last official speech as governor
  • The Stupidest Interviewing Question Award of the Year
    You definitely must feel like you didn’t do anything wrong I mean to write a book and whatever, like that’s how secure you are that this is something else?” 
    – political commentator (and daughter of Senator John McCain) Meghan McCain to former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich
  • The Stupidest Statement by an Annoying Rich Person Award of the Year
    I always lived very frugally. I flew around on a private jet. I had a boat. But I always lived very frugally.
    – billionaire financier and alleged Ponzi scheme operator Allen Stanford
  • The Stupidest Mangled Cliche Award of the Year
    “I’m not a rocket surgeon.”
    tattoo artist and star of TV show LA Ink Kat Von D
  • The Less Than Compelling Advertisement Award of the Year
    Trojan-Enz Latex Condoms, Lubricated, 36-Count Boxes (Pack of 2) by Trojan Buy new: $15.99 4 Used & new from $14.99″
     listing on Amazon.com


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