The Top 10 Stupidest Things the London Fire Brigade has had to free people from

The  London Fire Brigade has released a list of the weirdest things people have gotten stuck in — and required the helpful hands of the Fire Brigade.    Their choices for the oddest “Help, I’m Stuck” emergency calls:

10. A man with his penis stuck in a toaster.

9. A child with a tambourine stuck on its head.

8. A child with its hand trapped in a sweet machine.

7. A child with its head trapped in an ironing board.

6 An adult stuck in a child’s toy car.

5. A child with its head stuck in a massage chair.

4. A man with his arm stuck in a portapotty.

3. Someone with a test tube stuck on their finger.

2. A child with its foot stuck in a brass vase.

1. A man with a sewing machine needle stuck in his finger.

The Stupidest Reason to Call 911, Nail-Length-Related

Seems that one Deltona, Florida woman, Cynthia Colston, really really hates short nails — to the extent that, when her manicurist made Colston’s nails shorter than she liked, she called 911.  Not once, but FOUR times.

She was arrested for misuse of the emergency system, but had a novel defense ready:  It was all her nails’ fault.  She said that because her nails were too long (? but also too short?) she kept accidentally hitting 911.

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The Stupidest Missing Person Story of the Week

England has been dealing with massive snowstorms, whiteout producing blizzards and Arctic cold.  So police in Kent were justly concerned when a woman called 999 (England’s 911) to report a missing person.  The call went as follows:

woman: I haven’t been out to check on him for five hours but I went outside for a fag (cigarette) and he’s gone.
operator:  Who’s gone?
woman:    My snowman. I thought that with it being icy and there not being anybody about he’d be safe.

Needless to say, police didn’t consider this a true emergency.  And they did not search for the missing snowman.

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