A motorcycle gang, a kidnapped nun, a load of heroin, and highway cops in hot pursuit. It’s the trailer for “The Jesus Trip,” a 1971 grindhouse film. Will Sister Anna leave the church for Waco, the biker? What do YOU think…?
One of Neil Sedaka’s, erm, lesser songs (and for good reason), from the 1966 film Sting of Death. Girls in tight pants dancing by a pool and lyrics like “Wella, I’m saying fella, forget your Cinderella and do the jella, the jilla-jalla jellyfish!” — what’s not to love?
Thanks (thanks?!?!) to Craig Downey for turning us onto this gem of cheesiness!
Trailer for TeenAge Mother, the 1965 exploitation film “about a girl who went all the way.” Because, in the words of the teenage mom herself: “I’m a very healthy girl. You got to put out if you’re gonna get back.” Hey, who could argue with that?
An oldie but a goodie, now with English subtitles for your delectation — the stupidest and worst movie ever made, by worldwide popular acclaim. Presenting the Turkish Star Wars from 1982, with cuts from the real Star Wars. As well as scenes incorporating the music of Moonraker, Flash Gordon, Battlestar Galactica, Planet of the Apes and The Black Hole. It succeeds where those other films failed, it is excruciatingly boring AND stupid. As for the special effects . . .
So Cher, bless her heart, is back on the silver screen, playing (in a creative stretch) an aging glitter-wearing, tough-talking owner of a cabaret in film Burlesque. And, to judge by an article in Sunday’s New York Post , the film should be a humdinger indeed. Take this following line of truly stupendously stupid dialogue (please!):
“How many times have I held your head over the toilet while you threw up everything except your memories?” —Tess (Cher) to her star (drunk) dancer
Good question! (Well, stupid question, actually . . . ) Herewith 15 other examples of stupid cinematic questions:
“We sold our bodies; why can’t we sell some wood?” – Mary Stuart Masterson , Bad Girls
“How could someone with such great ideas for humanity put an innocent woman in a pit?”– Janet Julian as the heroine to Stephen Collins, Choke Canyon
“You got something wrong with your nipples?”– Alan Rachins, Showgirls
“Isn’t it strange how that lovely song reminds you of chicken salad?”– Aging spinster typist Joan Crawford to her young and looney lover Cliff Robertson, about the title song in Autumn Leaves
“How many of our neighbors have their girlfriends’ heads in their freezers?”– wife of philandering husband Peter Gallagher in Virtual Obsession
“Have you ever been collared and dragged out in the street and thrashed by a naked woman?”– Elizabeth Taylor as a frustrated wife in Reflections in a Golden Eye
“Why is the good ass never radical and the radical ass never good?” – Hippie student complaining in with-it 60s movie, R.P.M.
“If I didn’t really work for the government, if I was just a guy who accidentally killed his parents, would you still love me?” – arsonist Anthony Perkins to school girl Tuesday Weld, in Pretty Poison,
“Could you just promise if you eat me that you’ll clean your plates?”– worried plane crash survivor stranded in the snow-covered mountains, in Alive
“She is a woman – much woman. Should her perfidy be less than that of other women?”– John Wayne as Temujin (Genghis Khan) in The Conqueror
“Is ‘shmuck’ a Jewish word?” – Lucie Arnaz as Neil Diamond’s manager, holding an agent at gun point, in The Jazz Singer
“And what are little boys made of? Is it snakes and snails and puppy dog tails? Or is it brassieres?! And corsets?!– narrator in Glen or Glenda
“Houston on fire… Will history blame me – or the bees?”– The General (Richard Widmark) pondering in The Swarm
“They may be your people, but do you have to wallow with them…smell like them?”– Nefretiri (Anne Baxter) to Moses in The Ten Commandments
“Cutting off her nipples with garden shears? You call that normal?” – Elizabeth Taylor, in Reflections in a Golden Eye