The Stupidest Egg-Shaped Long Distance Kissing Product We’ve Ever Seen

And, okay, it’s the first one too.It’s the Kissing Egg … or, more precisely, the “Kissenger” (really!) as the scientists who developed it call it.

From New Scientist:

Kissenger comprises a pair of pressure-sensitive soft plastic lips which protrude through a smooth plastic casing the size of a large Easter egg.

The lips contain pressure sensors and actuators. When you kiss them, the shape changes you create are transmitted in real time over the net to a receiving Kissenger. There, the actuators reproduce the mirror image of the pressure patterns you created– magically transmitting your smacker to your partner.

“People have found it a very positive way to improve intimacy in communications with their partners when they are apart,” claims Hooman Samani of Singapore-based Lovotics, which developed the device.

The device is a prototype and Samani says it will not be commercialised until “all the ethical and technical considerations are covered”. He adds: “I am not interested in sexual uses for it.”

Hmm… we’re getting a few ideas though.

 

The Stupidest (but Coolest) Attempt to Entertain the Elderly

Robot heads from the Korea Institute of Science and Technology’s Center for Intelligent Robotics perform Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody.” Very weird. Very intense. Very bizarre. What more do you want from a robot performance?  Oh, and they’ve been created to entertain the elderly.  (?  No, we don’t get it either …)

The Stupidest and Crappiest Get Rich Quick Scheme

As the worldwide economy continues to look somewhat grim, some people take matters into their own hands . . . or other body parts.    Take, for example, modern alchemist Paul Moran of Northern Ireland.    His money-making plan:  turning his feces into gold.

(You may be surprised to learn that, sadly, the plan crapped out.  And he was arrested for arson when his feces – cooking on a heater – started a fire in his apartment building.)

The Stupidest Oceanographic Rumination, Saline Explanation Subsection

Lest you think Snooki is merely an art aficionado, we submit the following evidence that she is also of a scientific bent.  Here she offers her impression of the beach and, with it, a fascinating and, indeed, groundbreaking theory as to the salinity of the sea:

“I don’t really like the beach. I hate sharks, and the water’s all whale sperm. That’s why the ocean’s salty.”

And there you have it.

The Stupidest Astoundingly Asinine Astronomical Acronyms

Have you ever wondered Just what are the stupidest sounding astronomic acronyms?  Maybe, just maybe that’s a stupid question.  But if you’ve ever wondered, does Harvard have a site for you — the Dumb or Overly Forced Astronomical Acronyms site, which includess winners such as BIGASS (Bright Infrared Galaxy All Star Survey) and FUCR (far ultra-chromatic rocket).

The Stupidest Reason There’s No More Life on Mars (but wait, was there EVER life on Mars?)

Science does not know, but Hugo Chavez, President of Venezuela, has decided to speculate…and the reason for the dead red planet is….us.

“I have always said, heard, that it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived there, imperialism arrived and finished off the planet,” Chavez said in a speech for World Water Day.

We feel guilty.

yahoo finance news

The Stupidest Proof that Video Games Cause Violence

Do videogames cause people to become violent?

One very smart TV station in South Korea decided to do a SCIENTIFIC TEST and show that they do. They went to an internet cafe in South Korea, filled with people playing videogames on computers –and without warning anyone, suddenly turned off the electricity.   What happened then?  Well the people inside the pitch dark room  got angry and started swearing.

The station filmed this and pointed out that indeed, videogames lead to bad language and bad behavior.

Proof enough for us!

The Stupidest Ideas of What Everyday Life Would Be Like In the Future (Future Being Anything After 1950 . . . )

When she [the housewife of 2000] cleans house she simply turns the hose on everything.  Why not?  Furniture– (upholstery included), rugs, draperies, unscratchable floors — all are made of synthetic fabric or waterproof plastic.  After the water has run down a drain in the middle of the floor (later concealed by a rug of synthetic fiber), [she] turns on a blast of hot air and dries everything.
—prediction printed in a 1950 Popular Mechanics

By 2000…..discarded paper table “linen” and rayon underwear will be bought by chemical factories and converted into candy.
—prediction in Science Digest, 1967

In the year 2000, we will  . .cook in our television sets and relax in chairs that emit a private sound-light-color spectacular.
—from a New York Times story, January 7, 1968

The business man in 1999 [will eat] a soup-pill or a concentrated meat-pill for his noonday lunch…..Ice cream pills [will be] very popular.
—prediction made by writer Arthur Bird, in his “Looking Forward,” 1903

[[By 2000] you may dump the contents of a can of beans into the saucepan—and then chop up the can and toss it in, too.  If it were a corn-flavored can, [you] could have a tasty bowl of succotash…and edible whipped-cream-flavored can to go with preserved strawberries…And a tomato ketchup-flavored container to surround canned baked beans should appeal to a wide public.
—from Miracles Ahead, a book that speculated about the future, written in 1943 by Norman V. Carlisle and Frank Latham

Housewives [will] wash dirty dishes — right down the drain!  Cheap plastic would melt in hot water.
—prediction about life in the year 2000 by Popular Mechanics in 1950

The well-dressed man of 2020 will wear shorts for every occasion except formal events.
—New York City haberdasher John David, in 1929

We stand on the threshold of rocket mail.
—U.S. Postmaster General Arthur Summerfield in 1959

Peas and beans will be as large as beets are to-day . . . Strawberries as large as apples will be eaten by our great-great-grandchildren for their Christmas dinners a hundred years hence. Raspberries and blackberries will be as large. One will suffice for the fruit course of each person.
—John Elfreth Watkins Jr. in the Ladies Home Journal, 1900

Nuclear-powered vacuum cleaners will probably be a reality in ten years.
—Alex Lewyt, president of vacuum cleaner company Lewyt Corp. in the New York Times in 1955

By 2000…..discarded paper table “linen” and rayon underwear will be bought by chemical factories and converted into candy.
—prediction in Science Digest, 1967

The Stupidest Alien Encounters

Speaking of aliens, you’ve got to watch out.  We just got a report from a woman who went to bed, then woke up and felt a little weird. . .

“So I got in bed, turned off the TV to see if my eyes would stop hurting like I was tired. It was like I slipped off to sleep within seconds then I woke up really scared and heard a noise like someone was in my room..I didn’t see anything so I closed my eyes again. I kepted on hearing something in my room and waking up nervous and scared..never saw anything. I then woke up this morning around 8 am and all day I’ve felt so weird like I was violated somehow. I’ve been confused and trying so hard to figure out what was happening last night. I didn’t mention anything to anyone and my husband said he thinks I was having nightmares because I sounded like I was trying to fight something off in my sleep. Any ideas would be great, thanks everyone”

Alien visitation?  According to this alien hunting website, the answer is: Of course.
They’ve even specified the TYPE of alien.  Wow!  We’re impressed.

“i had a similiar experience. Owl eyes usually refer to greys and rogue greys in ur case due to your unpleaseant details. If problems get worst seek out phsycologist that specializes in alien abductions. And go through hypnosis to recover any memory. Only if necesary. “

Coming soon: What if Jesus were an alien?

The Stupidest Alien Life Form Discovery in 2010 (as far as we know … )

Stumped for that absolutely unique Christmas gift?  How about an alien life form?

OK, they’re only photos of alien life forms, but they’re pretty unique, with great names like “Pentagon Bony Structure”  and “The Red Watani Worm“.

Red Watani Worm

They were discovered by a guy from Michigan, near his home, embedded in some ice chunks.  He figured they were alien because it was March and there was no ice around anywhere else, which meant the ice was from space – and the funny little things inside therefore must have been from space too!

Pentagon Boney Structure

Pretty convincing to us.

(And they’re obviously not from some airplane toilet, we’re sure – although the Red Watani Worm is making us gag a little…)

Unfortunately, the news conference two days ago announcing his discovery to the world didn’t get the coverage he planned.  In fact, we just found out about it today!  According to the man:

“I would also like to note that NOT one American television crew or American television reporter attended my news conference, not even the local T.V. stations. A foreign television crew and reporter did attend the news conference, arriving late, and they did interview me. They enjoyed the interview as did I.   Local television news channels have stated to me the identicle [sic] reasons why they did not attend my news conference stating that they have skeleton crews on duty this week and had to choose which stories to cover. The news of the discovery of extraterrestrial life forms just was not on their list.”

Geez.  What’s wrong with news stations nowadays?

The Stupidest Nuclear-Related Ideas, Inventions & Products

Maybe it’s the radiation, but nuclear power seems to give people somewhat stupid ideas.   Like the following . . .

Somewhat Stupid Idea #1)
Give personal nuclear weapons to individual soldiers! Why go through all that DEFCON stuff and presidential authorization to launch Armageddon when soldiers themselves can cause nuclear winter?  Yes, we’re talking about the “Davy Crockett” nuclear rifle developed in the 1950s . . .

Somewhat Stupid Idea #2) Worried about gas mileage?    Not a problem for 50s drivers – they could own a Ford Nucleon; a zippy looking concept car with its own nuclear reactor purring along in back!

But those are antiquated ideas, from the dawn of the atomic age.  We modern folk don’t have such unusual ideas…or do we?

Somewhat Stupid Idea #3) How about a home nuclear reactor to cut down on those energy bills?   Toshiba has the answer – a mini-nuclear reactor for home use…  Just remember to put the nuclear waste out for recycling!

Somewhat Stupid Idea #4) And here’s an idea whose time has really come: The nuclear-powered passenger aircraft. But wait: what about all that radioactivity flying overhead?  What if the plane, uh, crashes?   Not to worry! says Ian Poll, Professor of Aerospace Engineering at Cranfield University, and head of technology at the aptly named Omega Project. “In the worst-case scenario, if the armour plating around the reactor was pierced there would be a risk of radioactive contamination over a few square miles.”

Only a few square miles of radioactive wasteland?

We’re not worried at all.

The Top 10 Stupidest Sounding Scientific Research Papers

Let’s get one thing straight here:  Science is serious.  It’s hard.   It helps people.  It finds out things.  And so on.  So who can blame the hard-working scientists who, in the course of working on a vital and complicated study, come up with a title that sounds somewhat, well, stupid?

This is why we are absolutely sure the following actual scientific studies are every bit as fascinating and important as they sound.  Really.  We are.  Very sure.

  • Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans
  • The Significance of Mr. Richard Buckley‛s Exploding Trousers
  • The Collapse of Toilets in Glasgow
  • An Analysis of the Forces Required to Drag Sheep Over Various Surfaces
  • Effects of Backward Speech and Speaker Variability in Language Discrimination by Rats
  • Fellatio by Fruit Bats Prolongs Copulation Time
  • Microbial Treatment of Kitchen Refuse With Enzyme-Producing Thermophilic Bacteria From Giant Panda Feces
  • Spontaneous Knotting of an Agitated String
  • Will Humans Swim Faster or Slower in Syrup?
  • On the Comparative Palatability of Some Dry-Season Tadpoles from Costa Rica