Category Archives: stupidest things ever written

The 2012 Stupidest Things Ever Said (and Written) Awards

It’s time for the annual Stupidest Things Ever Said (and Written) Awards for 2012 — celebrating the stupidest, most ridiculous, most asinine and most idiotic things said or written during the course of the year.  And now, without further ado, the … Continue reading

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The Stupidest “North, South, What’s the Diff” Moment from Our Own Calendar

So.  We blew it.  Note the insanely ridiculous error we didn’t catch in the 2012 Stupidest Things Ever Said calendar.  Egg on our face.  The shame, the shame.  The horror, the horror.  And all that.  (On the plus side:  now … Continue reading

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The NEWEST STUPIDEST!

It’s just out— the fabulously stupid collection we put together due to popular demand:  The Stupidest Things Ever Said Book of All-Time Stupidest Top 10 Lists.  A stupid title for a very stupid book! It’s the best of the Stupidest … Continue reading

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The Stupidest Distinctly Non-Erotic Erotic Scene from a Novel by a Radio Host, Very Very Bad

There are many different opinions of radio host Michael Savage.   One thing, though, we think everyone can agree on:  He is one very, very bad novelist.  (Very.)  The evidence, this snippet from his new novel Abuse of Power.  (We … Continue reading

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The Stupidest Badly Worded Jane Austen Unintended Gonadal Imagery Moment

In Jane Austen’s Northanger Abbey we find this rather eye-opening line: Such was Catherine Morland at ten. At fifteen appearances were mending; she began to curl her hair and long for balls.

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The Stupidest Book Title Department

Dildo Cay. The title gives you an idea of the book, with inadvertent ( or is it) gems of dialogue like this: “Father, I want to talk with you!’ Adrian had been watching his father walk the dike unsteadily, and … Continue reading

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The Stupidest Excerpts from Truly Stupendous Literature, Snooki-Style

Brace yourselves.  A Shore Thing, the novel that Snooki “wrote” is coming out tomorrow — and already excerpts of her compelling prose have been released. (We’re sure you will note the inevitable comparisons with other fine writers like Faulkner, Tolstoy, … Continue reading

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The Stupidest Person/Country Confusion of the Day, “Journalistic”

Some fascinating insights, fascinatingly worded, about the process of picking Time’s Man of the Year  by  “journalist” and daughter of John McCain Meghan McCain on the Daily Beast today (it has since been edited): I was one of the people … Continue reading

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THE 2010 STUPIDEST THINGS EVER SAID AWARDS ANNOUNCED!!

President Barack Obama, Snooki, Sen. Minority Leader John Boehner, BP ceo Tony Hayward, and costume jewelry designer Kenneth Jay Lane make the list of the Stupidest Things Ever Said in 2010 winners. The Stupidest Things Ever Said awards – selected … Continue reading

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The Stupidest How-To Instructions On Line, Courtesy of eHow

So the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is on tonight (marking yet another high note for excellence on television, of course) and you, like many other people, may ask yourself this pressing question:  How does one become a Victoria’s Secret model? … Continue reading

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The Stupidest Writing About Sex, Award-Winning

Writer Rowan Somerville is the winner of the 19th annual Bad Sex in Fiction Award (beating out other notables, like the U.S.A.’s Jonathan “Chocolate Log” Franzen). Judges explained that he got the coveted award for his book, The Shape of … Continue reading

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The Stupidest Sex Scene Written This Year By A Very Acclaimed Writer (Who Really Should Know Better)

Every year, the Literary Review gives out a “Bad Sex in Literature Award.”  And this year, novelist Jonathan Franzen — who has had the literary world squealing like tweens at a Justin Bieber concert over his work — is up … Continue reading

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The Stupidest and Least Necessary Restroom Sign

A helpful warning:  If you happen to find yourself in Chandler, Arizona and you happen to be in the City Hall and you happen to be in the restroom and you happen to think, “Wow, I’m thirsty,” do NOT take … Continue reading

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The Stupidest Scam Spam E-Mail (purportedly from the FBI)

Maybe it’s us.  Maybe we’re cynical.  Maybe it’s because we’re not, say, congressmen from Iowa (we speak here of a certain father-in-law of a certain daughter of a certain former president*).  But for whatever reason, there’s something about this e-mail … Continue reading

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The Stupidest Unfortunately Worded Boys’ High School Slogan

The slogan from a Baltimore high school web site:   Building Boys Into Men.  Men Who Matter.  Mount Men. We can only assume (and hope) this is not an exhortation. pophangover

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The Top Ten Peculiarly Intriging Headlines

•  Two Mexican Midget Wrestlers Killed by Fake Prostitutes —headline,  Fox News •  N. Korean Leader Names Ancient Frog “Ancient Frog” —headline, Bangkok Post •  Ride a Giant Weiner to The Land of Smiles —headline, Charlotte News – about riding … Continue reading

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The Stupidest Attempts at Rhymes by Very Bad Poets

The intrepid very bad poet doesn’t let something as simple as not having the right word in mind get in his or her way.  Sometimes a bad poet stretches so hard for a rhyme that we as readers are forced … Continue reading

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The Stupidest Celebrity-Under-The-Age-Of-17 Memoir

The “author”:  boy singer Justin Bieber joins the ranks of other celebrity writers. The literary work:  A memoir examining the 16 years of his life —entitled First Step 2 Forever:  My Story. If you aren’t feeling a little ill yet, look … Continue reading

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The Stupidest Email Sent By A Principal (Earning Over $100k)

Brooklyn, New York middle school principal Andrew Buck sent a memo to teachers explaining why he felt the school didn’t need more textbooks.   Problem is, the email reads as though he needs to read textbooks, specifically English grammar ones.  Here’s … Continue reading

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The 10 Stupidest Things You Might Not Know About God

He likes caffeinated beverages! Marxism God’s Favored Coffee! – instant coffee, Korea He has broken the law! God Gets a Parking Caution: “No Exceptions” Say Police – actual newspaper headline He likes winning! I can’t perceive God being on the … Continue reading

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The 10 Stupidest — and Spaciest — Things Ever Said About Space

Today kicks off World Space Week – a week dedicated to, well, space.   In honor of this auspicious occasion, we present the following stupidest things ever said about space and subjects relating to space. On Space Travel, Real High Tech … Continue reading

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The Stupidest Poem Ever Written About Bad Teeth

A poem about dental problems, you may ask? Yes. The poet, Solyman Brown (1790-1876), was of that rare breed — poet-dentist. He owned a dental supply store, was a founder of the American Society of Dental Surgeons, and worked with … Continue reading

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The 4 Stupidest “Why Was This Ever Published?” Celebrity Books

In honor of Banned Book Week, we present a few books that SHOULD have been banned. We are speaking of some books “written” by celebrities.  (For truly dreadful books written by politicians, see The 7 Stupidest Sex Scenes Written by … Continue reading

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10 of the Stupidest Newspaper Corrections Ever Printed

The Daily Evergreen would like to sincerely apologize for an injustice served to the Filipino-American, Spanish-speaking and Catholic communities on the front page of Thursday’s Evergreen. The story “Filipino-American history recognized” stated that the “Nuestra Senora de Buena Esperanza,” the … Continue reading

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10 of The Stupidest Police Blotter Items Ever Published

Suspicious food!  Mysterious puking intruders! Non-compliant ducks!  Swooning trees!  And more! ♦  In Portola, a caller reported that while she was in the shower, someone snuck into her house and vomited on her stove.  A deputy reported that it appeared … Continue reading

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