10. question on insurance form: Could either
driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
insurance claimant's answer: Traveled by bus?
9. TalkSPORT's Breakfast Show host Alan Brazil:
What was the name of the first man on earth?
contestant: Tony.
8. Attorney: What do you do for a living?
Witness: I help my brother.
Attorney: What does your brother do?
Witness: Nothing.
-- actual courtroom testimony
7. Q: What do you know about the Cuban missile
crisis?
White House Press Secretary Dana Perino: It had to do with Cuba and
missiles, I'm pretty sure.
6. Q: How can you tell the age of a snake?
A: It is extremely difficult to tell the age of a snake unless you know
exactly when it was born.
-- Detroit News
5. Tech Support: How fast does your modem go?
Customer: It's not moving, it's just sitting there.
-- actual computer tech support call
4. Q: Now, Mrs. Marsh, your complaint alleges that
you have had problems with concentration since the accident. Does that condition continue
today?
A: No, not really. I take a stool softener now.
-- actual courtroom testimony
3.The Big Quiz host Gary King: What is the main
ingredient of a Molotov cocktail? contestant: Vodka?
2. Miss Teen USA pageant judge: Why do you think
1/5th of all Americans can't locate the United States on a map of the world?
Miss South Carolina Teen Lauren Caitlin Upton: I personally believe that
U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, um, some people out there in our nation don't
have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and,
uh, the Iraq and everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uh, our
education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa and
should help Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future.
1. food service manager: Are you bilingual?
job applicant (nervously) Well, um, yes, but only once in college.
-- during a job interview at a Minnesota casino
