The Stupidest Things Ever Said Awards for 2011

And the 2011 winners of the Stupidest Things Ever Said Awards are . . .

  • The Stupidest and Extraordinarily Insightful Art Commentary of 2011
    “I liked the statue of David.  He was hot, and his wiener’s out, and he has a nice butt.”
    Jersey Shore star Snooki talking about Michelangelo’s David (video)

  • The Stupidest Headline of 2011, Possibly Inadvertent Sexual Imagery Division
    Girls’ school still offering “something special” — head
    —headline, Gloucestershire Echo

  • The Stupidest National Anthem Rendering of 2011
    “What so proudly we watched at the twilight’s last reaming…”
     singer Christina Aguilera at the Super Bowl (the right words were: “O’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming.”) (video)

  • The Stupidest Example of a Politician Showing off her Historical Knowledge in 2011
    “He who warned, uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.”
    Sarah Palin, on Paul Revere’s midnight ride (video)

  • The Stupidest Anti-Gay Marriage Metaphor of 2011
    “It’s like in golf.  A lot of people — I don’t want this to sound trivial — but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive. It’s weird. You see these great players with these really long putters, because they can’t sink three-footers anymore. And, I hate it. I am a traditionalist. I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist.”
    businessman Donald Trump explaining why he was against gay marriage

  • The Stupidest Least Literary Line of 2011 (or “Why We Stopped Reading The End of Sparta  Pretty Quickly”)
    “Odd that the Theban knew of Neto and his son’s wife Damo, and of Chion and apparently Sturax and Porpax too, but at least not Gorgos as well.”
     from the novel The End of Sparta, by Victor Davis Hanson

  • The Stupidest Overstretching the Point Moment  in 2011
    “I have always said, heard, that it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived there, imperialism arrived and finished off the planet.”
     Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez in a speech for World Water Day (video)

  • The Stupidest Excuse for Having an Extra-Marital Affair of 2011
    “There’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate . . .”
    presidential candidate Newt Gingrich explaining how his patriotism led him to have an affair (video)

  • The Stupidest Live On-Air Moment of Rhetorical Brilliance of 2011
    “Tonight is the measure of whether the country begins in the state of Wisconsin a national drive to push back or whether we have more to go to build a movement of resistance.  But resist we much.   We must and we will much . . .”
     MSNBC host Al Sharpton on the Wisconsin recall elections (video)

  • The Stupidest Live Debate Moment of Rhetorical Brilliance of 2011
    “The third agency of government I would do away with – education, uh the, commerce, and let’s see, I can’t. The third one I can’t. Sorry. Oops.”
     presidential candidate Rick Perry (video)

  • The Stupidest Fascinating New Use of a Verb of 2011, Sports Division
    “We don’t dwindle on the past.”
     Cardinals QB John Skelton



The Stupidest Things Ever Said awards are selected each yearby verbal gaffe experts Ross and Kathryn Petras, the compilers of the best-selling annual Page-A-Day calendar The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said (now in its 18th year with 4.3 million copies sold).

The Stupidest “Don’t Believe What I Said” Explanation, Excuse or Obfuscation, Newtonian

We kinda sorta thought that when one says something on say, national television, it means one has, well, said it.  Boy, are we naive or what?

Let us turn to one Newton “Newt” Gingrich who, on an interview with Fox News said:

I want to make sure every House Republican is protected from some kind of dishonest Democratic ad. So let me say on the record, any ad which quotes what I said on Sunday is a falsehood. Because I have said publicly those words were inaccurate and unfortunate and I’m prepared to stand up… When I make a mistake — and I’m going to on occasion — I want to share with the American people “that was a mistake” because that way we can have an honest conversation.

Yes.  If he is quoted as saying something he said, it is wrong.  Get it?

think progress

The Stupidest Flip Flop Explanation, Floppy

So presidential aspirant Newt Gingrich has been taking some heat for apparently flip-flopping on his position regarding U.S. intervention in Libya.  (He first said the U.S. should intervene in Libya, then when military action began, said the U.S. shouldn’t intervene in Libya.)

But he has a GREAT, if rather novel, explanation for this which he shared on Fox News this Sunday:  His first flip-flop (the U.S. should intervene) was actually a flip-flop from his initial position . . . so his last flip-flop isn’t really a flip-flop.  (?!?!)

Chris Wallace: You are taking some heat for what a lot of people are calling is a flip on what the U.S. should do in Libya. . . . Some are saying that whatever the President does or doesn’t do, you’re against.

Newt Gingrich: Well, you should have played an earlier clip when I was on Greta’s show in late February and I said we should be for replacing Gaddafi without using the U.S. military. Now, the President on March 3 changed the rules of the game. the President came out publicly and said Gaddafi must go. and so I was citing there my original position which is if you are not in the lake, don’t jump in. once you’re in the lake, swim like crazy.

Aha.  Now we get it . . .  (Well, not really, but whatever.)

The Stupidest Excuse for Cheating on Your Wife, Ever-So-Patriotic

Newt Gingrich at his patriotic best— defending having put his schtuker where it shouldn’t have been, speaking on the Christian Broadcasting Network.  He did it for America!

There’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how
passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate…

And here we thought he was just being horny.  Boy, are WE embarrassed!

the brody file