The Least Romantic Love Poem Ever (written by Rupert Brooke over 100 years ago and still dreadful after all those years …)

In honor of Valentine’s Day, we share with you one of the very worst love poems ever written, by famous poet Rupert Brooke, over 100 years ago.  It brilliantly juxtaposes sea-sickness, images of vomiting … and love. We particularly admired the line “Brown gobbets up I throw.”.  What could be more romantic?  We want to throw up too!

A Channel Passage

The damned ship lurched and slithered. Quiet and quick
My cold gorge rose; the long sea rolled; I knew
I must think hard of something, or be sick;
And I could think hard only of one thing — you!
You, you alone could hold my fancy ever!
And with you memories come, sharp pain, and dole.
Now there’s a choice — heartache or tortured liver!
A sea-sick body, or a you-sick soul!

Do I forget you? Retchings twist and tie me,
Old meat, good meals, brown gobbets up I throw.
Do I remember? Acrid and slimy,
The sobs and slobber of a last year’s woe.
And still the sick ship rolls. ‘Tis hard, I tell ye,
To choose ‘twixt love and nausea, heart and belly.