The 10 Stupidest Reasons Snooki Will Make a Wonderful Author

So Snooki of Jersey Shore fame has just signed a book contract — and is, yes, writing a novel.  We want to address the naysayers who feel she isn’t quite in the Tolstoy club.  Nonsense, say we.  Snooki is highly qualified to be a writer.  Just look at the following quotes from the debut novelist’s mouth (or keyboard).

Snooki is . . .

  • a lover of words!
    “Word of the day: sympathetic. That’s a big word. “
  • verbally creative!
    “It’s just a big ball of f*ckness. That’s a new word: f*ckness.”
  • grammatically refreshing!
    “Pickles is my thing.”
  • unbound by conventional spelling rules!
    “I feel like the dj is my body guard, you see the way he keeps me safe with that treble in that base, I feel free :)”   (via Twitter)
  • an avid reader!
    “I have mind blowing news!  I am officially reading my first bo!  Lmao!  Nicholas Sparks “dear John!” … I‛m proud of myself!”   (via Twitter)
  • politically aware!
    “I don’t go tanning tanning anymore because Obama put a 10% tax on tanning. I feel like he did that intentionally for us, like McCain would never put a 10% tax on tanning.. because he is pale and he would probably wanna be tanned.”
  • prone to historical similes!
    “I feel like a pilgrim from the f*cking ’20s washing this sh*t  in the sink.”
  • highly philosophical!
    “. . . [I]  don’t eat lobster or anything like that cause they’re alive when you kill it.”
  • willing to share her deepest emotions!
    “I thought I broke my vagina bone.. it was terrible.”
  • unafraid of descriptive adjectives!
    “You’re a f*cking white rat and you’re f*cking pale and you’re nasty.”

2 thoughts on “The 10 Stupidest Reasons Snooki Will Make a Wonderful Author

  1. Pingback: The Stupidest Excerpts from Truly Stupendous Literature, Snooki-Style |

  2. Why do female celebs need to open their mouths and say stupid things? Do they think up stupid things to say so they get notice?

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