The 10 Stupidest Reasons Snooki Will Make a Wonderful Author

So Snooki of Jersey Shore fame has just signed a book contract — and is, yes, writing a novel.  We want to address the naysayers who feel she isn’t quite in the Tolstoy club.  Nonsense, say we.  Snooki is highly qualified to be a writer.  Just look at the following quotes from the debut novelist’s mouth (or keyboard).

Snooki is . . .

• a lover of words!
  “Word of the day: sympathetic. That’s a big word. “

• verbally creative!
  “It’s just a big ball of f*ckness. That’s a new word: f*ckness.”

• grammatically refreshing!
  “Pickles is my thing.”

• unbound by conventional spelling rules!
  “I feel like the dj is my body guard, you see the way he keeps me safe with that treble in that base, I feel free ”   (via Twitter)

• an avid reader!
  “I have mind blowing news!  I am officially reading my first bo!  Lmao!  Nicholas Sparks “dear John!” … I‛m proud of myself!”   (via Twitter)

• politically aware!
  “I don’t go tanning tanning anymore because Obama put a 10% tax on tanning. I feel like he did that intentionally for us, like McCain would never put a 10% tax on tanning.. because he is pale and he would probably wanna be tanned.”

• prone to historical similes!
  “I feel like a pilgrim from the f*cking ’20s washing this sh*t  in the sink.”

• highly philosophical!
  “. . . [I]  don’t eat lobster or anything like that cause they’re alive when you kill it.”

• willing to share her deepest emotions!
  “I thought I broke my vagina bone.. it was terrible.”

• unafraid of descriptive adjectives!
  “You’re a f*cking white rat and you’re f*cking pale and you’re nasty.”