It is with great excitement that we announce that John Travolta and wife Kelly Preston have divulged the name they intend to give their baby (due in about three weeks): Benjamin. It is with equal excitement that we note that this name (i.e. Benjamin) actually sounds like a real name, a name we’ve heard before, a people name. This, of course, is to be contrasted with the names other celebrities have given their children, names that bear little resemblance to usual-sounding names like, say, Matthew or Emma or even Britney or Jaden.
In honor of creative child-naming by celebrities, we present the Top Ten Oh-So-Unique Celebrity Child Name awards (given, of course, in different categories). (Note: We’ve included the sex of the child, as often the name does not give one any clue whatsoever.)
- The Outrageous Pun award goes to . . . actor Rob Morrow
for naming his daughter Tu. (Yes. It is painful.)
- The Aren’t We Clever, Spelling Division award goes to . . . Ving Rhames for naming his daughter Reign Beau
- The Gender Ambiguity award goes to . . . Nicole Richie and Joel Madden for naming their son Sparrow
- The General Ambiguity award goes to . . . actress Shannnyn Sossomon for naming her son Audio Science (No. We don’t get it either.)
- The Creativity Increases As You Go On award goes to . . . Bono for naming his son Elijah Bob Patricius Guggi Q
- The Excessive Alliteration award goes to . . . Toni Braxton for naming her sons Diezel and Denim (which sounds like a good name for a casual clothing line, if you think about it . . . )
- The Best Real Superhero Name award goes to . . . Nicolas Cage for naming his son Kal-el (Superman’s real name)
- The Best Fake Superhero Name award goes to . . . Penn Jillette for naming his daughter Moxie CrimeFighter
- The Bacon and Native American-Sounding award goes to . . . John Mellancamp for naming his son Speck Wildhorse
- The Possible Future Vocation award goes to . . . Jonathan Davis for naming his son Pirate AND to Jason Lee for naming his son Pilot Inspektor
Hey the baby name is little different, but we should not say bad, coz it is given to a child by the parent with love and affection so its better not to say anything…
but Audio Science? SOrry kid, but that’s just scary. We really should put all these celebrities through rehab, whether they’re on drugs or not.
hi-ya, I like all your posts, keep them coming.
Reign Beau is absolutely brilliant and I do like Sparrow – you certainly wouldnt want to be a girl baby called ‘thrush’ LOL LOL
Hahaha! I had fun while reading your list of Stupidest Celebrity Baby Names. I can’t imagine how the children will deal with their names when they grow up.
Honestly, this post surprised me on how these celebrities picked these unique and unusual names for their children. It’s really proof that baby names today in our society are becoming more and more unique. I just hope that as they grow will continue to love their rare unique names.